Who Am I as a Communicator?

           The links that were provided for us gave me some insights of where my abilities and limitations lie. What I found shocking was that my husband gave me a score of 36 for my Communication Anxiety Inventory, which I gave myself a 49. I do not mind speaking in large settings amongst family or friends, but in a room of strangers, I typically struggle. He see’s me as this very outgoing woman who is not afraid to express her ideas or feelings, but internally, I have a battle, my hands become sweaty, my heart begins to pound, and I feel like I am on the verge of a panic attack. I prefer one-on-one or a small group of acquaintances to have a conversation with. During meet the teacher night I feel comfortable within my surroundings because I get to know the parents for two weeks that lead up to that night. When doing Professional Development courses that take place at our local community college, I typically sit back, listen to others viewpoints, take notes, and try to avoid being called on. I was also like this in my high school classrooms, I prefer to listen than to speak facts or answer questions.

            I also had my brother take the three tests, and for the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale, he gave me a score of 42. He believes that I am respectful to listen to others viewpoints and try to gain all the facts before making any remarks. However, when I took the exam, I obtained a score of 56. I do believe I have respect for others opinions, but I can become aggressive when trying to get my point across. I realized that these three tests showed me where I can better myself and how I can work on my communication skills in-group settings and how not to shut down individual’s ideas so quickly. I look forward on bettering myself as a professional in the early childhood field and as an individual.

Communicating Differently & Effectively

I tend to communicate differently when working with children, when talking with family members, and even talking with friends. I also recognize that I express myself differently through body language, at work I carry myself as a professional, I do not slouch, I make eye contact, and I am an effective listener. When speaking with my mother, I typically use formal language and use polite words that I would not usually use when talking with friends. When speaking with my brother or friends I frequently use slang words, OMG, LOL, Yah, but with my parents its May I, Thank You, and Please. During this course, I am trying to carry over a more professional side when talking with friends and also working on effective listening. I sometimes do not use direct eye contact, or I cross my arms and lean on one side of my body which could come off negatively to family members, colleagues, and students parents.

            I also became conscious of how my culture can facilitate negative communication skills, as an Italian-American, I use my hands, I have a potty mouth, and I can become extremely short with individuals when I feel I am being attacked. These traits can sometimes carry over into my professional life and cause more harm than good. Becoming conscious of these behaviors and expressions I can improve myself as a professional, friend, daughter, wife, and person. There are many strategies that ensure effective communication, such as, following the Platinum Rule, being aware of our limitations and abilities, focus on the other individuals feelings and thoughts, paying attention to non-verbal expressions, and listening to the true meaning of a conversation. Understanding where I struggle will allow me to grow as a professional and become an effective communicator and listener when working in the early childhood field and as an individual.

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

           My family has been telling me to watch Blue Bloods for a while now, but with the limited time I have, I barely watch television as it is. So I decided this is the perfect opportunity for me to watch an episode and see what all the hype is about. Tom Selleck has always had a demeanor where he knows it all, as I begin watching it seems that he always has an answer for everything but also shows compassion. He is a family oriented man, and you can see this at any moment they are at the dinner table as a large clan. New Yorkers always talk with their hands, and I do not see many hand gestures when the family is together. As I continue to see other family members in a courtroom, or in a cop car, it seems that they truly love what they do and they do it because of their father (police commissioner). Honestly watching this show with the sound off was hard for me to understand certain scenarios that happened in the show, it seems they accused a lot of individuals before finding the attacker, killer, robber or thug that did break the law. The family is a tight bunch of individuals, and that was easy for me to read, even with no sound, you could see that they would talk as a family and help one another in any situation.

            I believed the police officers would interrogate many individuals to find the correct person behind the crime. It seemed they were hard on these possible heathens, but many were just looking for a lead to continue on with their investigation. Tom Sellek does have “a know it all” personality for this particular role, but he is compassionate and loves what he does. He is always willing to help a family member or even someone in his office and gives them the advice they need to hear, even if it's not what they want to hear. My assumptions of the family dinners were that they were a close-knit family, and I still do believe that, as I listened to the television show. Honestly, I got drawn in, and it is not a half bad show to become addicted to.

            If I was a individual who watched this show on a weekly basis I would probably be able to read more family members a little bit better besides Tom Sellek, Donnie Wahlberg looks like a difficult person to work with and even a tougher father to deal with. He loves his family, and wants the best for them; he even does the same for his partner Jackie. While there are many cast members and different stories going on within the show, I was able to get a basic understanding of just throwing on an episode. But I believe if I was like my grandmother, who never misses her Blue Bloods, I am sure I would have had some biases by just watching interactions without the sound. Seeing what I picked up on during the first run through, I was able to focus on their facial expressions, how they interacted through gestures and greetings but still have difficulty connecting individuals to who they truly were in the show. It was a different experience watching a television show without the sound but I enjoyed being able to pay attention to the smaller details first and then re-watching with the sound.

Effective Communication

       I have always admired how my best friend communicates with her colleagues, clients, and even myself. She is always to the point but also listens and gives excellent advice. Effective communication is not just exchanging information but also understanding the emotion and even intentions behind the words. She is an engaged listener and observer, as we have been viewing our weeks learning resources, many forms of communication is nonverbal. You must read the individuals movements and also focus on what they are truly saying. Amanda has always been intuitive, and can read me better than I can read myself. The way my voice sounds, she knows if something is wrong. By being such an engaged listener she truly understands what I am trying to convey, even if I cannot find the right words, she fully understands my meanings. I always have admired the way she speaks with any individual and now as she takes a huge leap of faith and traveling the world for a year. I know many people will be blessed to have crossed her path, she is the best person I know when it comes to solving problems and giving superb advice. I can only hope to learn to read others as she does and become a more active listener when communicating with students, colleagues, parents, and even family and friends.