This week I was really able to focus on other’s conversations and see how common these microaggressions occur on a day-to-day basis. I am on a beach volleyball team, and we have been playing for the last four summers, of course, there are some squabbles here and there, but last week it was taken to a whole new level. Being in a recreational league, we are all there to have fun, but this particular team was there for blood. They were vicious players and playing extremely dirty, my best friend finally spoke up and said: “I am a volleyball coach, but you guys keep touching the net for the blocks and the spikes, its illegal moves.” I am so happy he finally spoke up but the other team took this as an attack and began to swear and say many derogatory statements. My best friend has an incredibly high-pitched voice for a male, and many question his sexual orientation. While this is no one's business, one man decided to call him a faggot and took it way to far. Before my friend went off the handle, he decided to be an adult about this and walked off the court, as a team, we followed suit. None of us were going to play this team, and we were gong to discuss this issue with the president of the league. The team kept going on as we are on the sidelines and now started to mimic our teammate. My husband who is so laid back and hates confrontation screamed and said that was enough. I then went to grab the director and spoke about how awful this team was. They were banned from the league because other teams agreed with what they saw and heard and they stood behind us.
I was truly appalled by this teams actions, and to make matters worse they had a young high school student stepping in, and she saw this whole thing unfold. She should have not heard half the words that were coming from her teammates mouths. Listening to Dr. Sue really made me more observant to these daily microaggressions, I could never be so disrespectful and blunt about my dislikes as this man was, but I do realize that even sarcastic comments that I may make can be potentially harmful to another’s ego.
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a really hard situation! I am so sorry you had to deal with that. I agree with you that it made the situation worse that they had a young high school student involved. We are modeling to children and young people how to treat others. If we can become aware of this and conduct ourselves accordingly, we will teach mutual respect and kindness.
Thank you for being willing to share your story!
Rachael
This is a problem that we witness everyday people go through this stuff on a daily basis and I think is a problem
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. Unfortunately, I can't say I'm shocked. I witness this behavior more often than not. I have two boys who are very athletic, therefore we have seen just about all there is to see.
What a terrible situation. It's saddening that one cannot even go out and enjoy themselves sometimes without there being drama. I cannot imagine how terrible the whole thing must have been. I am glad that there was some resolution though the damage was grand. I do not understand people sometimes. If I agree with something it is not my right to belittle someone over it.
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post and I'm with you I would have been appalled and I would have spoken up for you coach because comments like that are uncalled for and demeaning. Going back to Dr. Sue's microaggression comments are like that are microinvalidations. Such comments like those can cause consequences.
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story shared on microaggression. We see this everyday as you suggested. Often times we do not realize that we are a victom or someone else is one of micro aggression. I am glad that I was introduced to the information you shared and that our other colleagues shared this week. Great Post!